As I have said elsewhere, the topic of the "Whys" of sex is so integrated into the whole System of Life that tugging on any thread produces an endless flow of questions, ideas, and comments. And if you realize that the questions have relevance, that the System is designed and not just a mindless globb-splatter - like some sort of art form with no thought or discipline behind it - then, even if you are stumped or wrong - you are pushing in a positive direction and likely making gradual headway. You are gradually learning from a masterpiece produced by a Master.
Forgive me if this page consists of a bit of ramble. This whole website is a hobby operation for me and a wonderful mental stimulator. I have no reputation to support but having a slightly public canvas to paint on provides a motivation that one doesn't get with a private diary. You are under pressure here to try to be logical and to try to support your statements and there is always the hope that one's efforts will have some impact on any reader who does come along. And no worries about a captive audience!
In thinking about Page 28, it struck me that one thread that needs tugging on is the question of the sexual divide being far older than human kind. The world of the dinosaurs was real and presumably very long in duration. The sex topic in that world is somewhat obscure. It is assumed that there were two sexes. There is not much evidence of dimorphism, where males and females were easy to tell apart. That dinosaurs started small and grew seems to be established. It is assumed that eggs were a key reproduction element based on current reptile practice, but it is my understanding that evidence of eggs, especially big eggs (which have technical complications), is fairly scanty. How some of the monsters managed to have a sexual connection is a mystery due to size, massive tails, and unusual physical structure as per the Kentrosaurus with its spikes. The age happened and there is lots of speculation on how it happened. And the sexual divide presumably existed then and the Bible indicates that there were male and female animals before the exact human pattern was rolled out of the design works.
There is good reason to believe that the current life unit lineup has no life connection to the dinosaur world, contrary to the popular evolutionary** concept. I understand that Louis Agassiz was convinced that this was the case. And I would argue that common sense tells us that this is a given. Nothing that works comes about by random chance. Things that work are always complex systems, even in simplest form. And although all living systems have amazing adaptation breadth built into their complex structure, there are always clearly defined limits. You can breed all sorts of dogs or cattle out of base stock but that amazing initial living creature only has so much incorporated flexibility. Sorry - it seems that no super creature has been designed and built that can be bred into either a cow, a horse, or a flying kangaroo! With the wild change from creatures and environment of prehistoric times to the current lineup, it is beyond my imagination to think that there wasn't a complete restart. The Designer talent, for the most part at least, carried on. The old model line was scrapped. The new model line was planned and rolled out very quickly to allow all the vital systems to snap into the ON&WORKING mode needed for system unit survival. The chicken and the egg both came on line at the same time.
But what I am getting to, is, if my contention that the human sexual divide is such a big deal, then what was happening in the dinosaur world and prior to the forming of Eve after Adam, with the indication that this "two unit arrangement" was a big event? And if God is replicating Himself in humans, then what was going on for a huge time span in the dinosaur age? Coal and oil and potash were being stockpiled. Fertile earth was being formed. Were analogies being worked with back then? Things were being designed and there was definitely "creating" and "doing' going on. Lots of "Why" questions and "What's going on" questions! At that time, who was doing the designing and creating? Somewhere in history the personality Lucifer/Satan was on the role and eventually bombed out. Where was he in the creating and doing mix?
If we start getting into the Satan topic, many people will get uneasy as in, Whoa - are we launching into "squirm and let's get out of here" territory!? How is this relevant to what is under my nose and how I plan for the next week? But let me hit you with this reality club - here are realities that are in everyone's face and are difficult to ignore;
- Dark Matter - see YouTube clip on page 28 - vast majority of matter cannot be accounted for. It can't be detected. It doesn't seem to be there. But clear evidence also proves that it must be there. What is it? If such a massive gap exists in human understanding, no human statement of "fact" is beyond suspicion.
- Animal / human brain power - the physical similarity between a monkey brain and a human brain is remarkably close but for some unexplained reason the human brain is in a different class of power. Why and how? Humans are personalities with complex minds that comprehend the past and the future and moral issues and have wild reasoning and creative powers - living beings! Monkeys and cows are never in a class with humans. Are some monkeys smarter than other monkeys? Do monkey geniuses ever show up? Is the smartest monkey ever anywhere close to human level? Where is the missing factor?
- Murmurations - again - see the YouTube clips on Page 28 - just one of many natural realities, migration capacity spread over generations, even in insects, might also rate, where the observed reality seems to defy physical possibility. There is some power in play that usually isn't accounted for. The "Force" seems to be with them!
- Life - you can put all the materials needed in place but life, for some reason, is beyond human capacity to produce. Life, even in its simplest forms, only comes from pre-existing life. Why? What is the missing factor that men do not understand and control? Even when life has been present but is snuffed out totally, to restart a dead cell or animal is impossible. Again, why, when everything that allowed life moments earlier, is still present? Our DNA and chemistry knowledge is remarkable but that life spark is one of Agassiz's "vanishing points"! (see sidebar)
- Personal Existence - the fact that we exist in such unique form, conscious living sparks with a remarkable level of freedom and comprehension and leeway of capability. And this wild state against a backdrop of territory to function in, and no competitors in our class. Isn't this simply too amazing! Yet one little slip and we are gone as sure as an animal being taken out by a hunter. So powerful and so fragile! The seemingly magical state is cradled in a physical carrier that is so mechanical and something we can understand and work with, and so obviously engineered by a super Mind/Builder. No question about it - our tiny floating island and all others are connected to some sort of home port managed by a Harbour Master who has a handle on the physical and the spiritual! Sort of like Dark Matter - it is a blank area on your radar, you can ignore it and life goes on, but you know it is there, and you are a fool if you refuse to admit that there is importance associated with understanding the sensory glitch!
These observations, that everyone can make, show that men are either sadly equipped to research physical realities or there is some type of spiritual aspect at work. The Bible, as well as outlining history in advance to a degree that is attention grabbing, also is plain about spiritual realities in the Life mix. Not cool to acknowledge in most current circles but ignoring such is to condemn yourself to dismal performance in multiple arenas of everyday life. Fascinating that we live in a social environment where being observant and thoughtful can expose you to major negative backlash rather than positive interest!
So back to pre-history. I have no hard views at the moment on the end game of the dinosaur age. Was it simply a rebel son putting in goof off time prior to really spinning out and seeing his toys blown away? Was there an element of R&D going on that provided techniques for a new age that we are now living in? The marvels we exist in are so complex that Big Minds had to be involved and our human experience indicates to us that complex systems don't happen at the snap of fingers. Development involves evolution and true evolution takes time and mind power and creative power and multiple attack & evaluation cycles. It isn't roulette wheel whimsy or a fairy wand "poof", nor a mindless oozing process!
So, I wonder, is the two sex divide a living lesson or was it initially simply a design approach that meshed in nicely with other design aspects of the current physical world. Did it allow a technique in physical life that the Designers felt could be used to make a smoothly operating system? Did the approach rest on an underpinning of designed physical laws that allowed the achievement of larger system goals? The branches of trees illustrate a design that fits laws of physics and also biology in that a flexible, wind tolerant, light weight structure to support a large leaf canopy can be made to "work". Is the two sex system similar or was there a life principle being illustrated even at that time - perhaps that Life is a multi-element system and this central split-element of "ongoing life", highlites that fact?
So when, what could be seen as a capstone of Godly creativity, was unveiled, perhaps the human version of the sexual divide was well planned out and adapted specifically for humanity. Animals don't have sex unless their designed automation triggers them to produce young. Sex in humans is a unique pattern. And is the remarkable and somewhat humiliating similarity between animals and humans there to stress to humans, just how valuable our special status is? Sort of like, "the wealthy king can't get too haughty when he has to use the outhouse just like the peasants who he enjoys kicking around"! Animal life is no small technical matter, but consider the status we have on top of that basic marvel!
So, what of the time period prior to mankind coming out of the creation chamber - I don't know - but I do enjoy rolling around possibilities and I am convinced that at some point we will all get the full story. And concerning my current speculations on the whole sex topic - who am I? - who are you? - who is Joe Expert? We all are alive at the moment and have eyes to see and a central computing processor and a memory that can hold observations over time. And we have each other to bounce thoughts off of. And as Galileo was supposed to have said "I do not feel - etc - to forgo their use. - see sidebar!" The past yields volumes of clues, but humans have a dramatic track record of being prone to fashioning history, which is always riddled with unknowns, to fit their current whims, no matter how whacky their "flights of fantasy" may be. Here we are in post history. Most agree on that. So let's try to figure things out!
The Kentrosaurus needed to approach sex very carefully!
While taking a break from the key board, and marvelling at how hard it is to not wander into digressions, I kicked back to Page 3 and modified Jim Corbett's advice slightly. How can digression be avoided, given our opportunities!
Life lore is not a science that can be learnt from textbooks, but it can be absorbed a little at a time, and the absorption process can go on indefinitely, for the book of Life has no beginning, as it has no end. Open the book where you will, and at any period of your travel, and if you have the desire to acquire knowledge you will find it of intense interest, and no matter how long or how intently you study the pages, your interest will not flag, for in the System of Life there is no finality.
The knowledge you absorb today will be added to the knowledge you will absorb tomorrow. The amount of knowledge you ultimately accumulate will depend on your capacity for absorption, not on any fixed standard. At the end of the accumulating period - be that period one year or fifty - you will find that you are only at the beginning, and that the whole field of Life lies before you waiting to be explored and to be absorbed. But be assured that if you are not interested, or if you have no desire to acquire knowledge, you will learn nothing from Life.
It is my contention that if you are not interested you will see nothing but the road you walk on, and if you have no desire to acquire knowledge and assume you can learn in a fortnight what cannot be learned in your lifetime, you will remain ignorant to the end.
For me, trying to write this essay illustrates the point. How do you confront something as large as Life? The answer is “bit by bit” - and relax. You will never case it all and you will never run out of new material and become bored!
The System of Life has many similarities to the phenomenon of murmurations and can be described as having 5 dimensions. There are the normal three – the daily grind of up-down, left-right, and forward-back. There is the dimension of time, which in the System of Life is far longer than a single human life time. This is a vital concept if you want to understand the System of Life as well as the workings of the Big School reality. And the time dimension is a concept that most impatiently and happily ignore. And dimension 5 is illustrated by the seeming exchange of information in murmuration flocks. (see the Australian Budgie Bird Murmuration YouTube clip on Page 28 - repeated in the current side bar.) One person can’t be everywhere and see everything and "do" everything, but the “group or flock” has many eyes and can be many places at any one time. The information that is gleaned by the flock becomes available to each individual and is of great value in providing understanding. Cell phone cameras and the internet illustrate the principle, enhanced by modern technology. Life is a broad and total system spread over time. Being ignorant on these vital “time and breadth” facets is a formula for frustration and seeming failure.
The world of sex does have interesting twists. These features, as with all complex processes that "work", are not chance happenings. A mind and creative capacity was needed to make this little system functional.
I mentioned on page 28 that several year ago, I had had contact with a gentleman named Jim Rector and was impressed by two articles he wrote on "the two trees in the Garden of Eden". Rector was a marvel at analogy comparison and analysis and his work, like the work of many people who study the Bible in order to better understand the Book, illustrate why it is immature foolishness to not take the Bible seriously. Doing so is about as ignorant as ripping out Issac Newton's statements on the physical manuscript and then thinking you can make progress in the field of physics. We are dealing with basic information that is vital to understanding finer details and if you throw those basics away or ignore them, progress further is likely difficult if not impossible.
I am not out to use a lot of time on details of Bible study and on this website I am focusing on what I see as common sense issues that I feel are backed up by Bible study. My take on Rector's presentations is that the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil is basically "law" - the principles that regulate everything that happens. And as any lawyer or physicist or biologist will likely tell you, this field is not simple.
Life, both from a physical standpoint and from a social standpoint and also from a spiritual standpoint revolves around laws and also around inter-connected systems. And those systems are constantly changing and associate laws and the way they inter-relate are changing with the system changes. Its not that laws are unstable, but consider how adaptation needs to occur if a family does something as simple as moving from Florida to northern Canada. Does your car have a block heater? What sort of clothes do you have? How does securing food change? What about Vitamin D? What happens when you buy a house cat? How does your cleaning style change? How does your immune system change? What happens when the weather changes from dry to wet? What happens when the children grow up and move out? Change is constant and with it, new rules and ways of doing things cut into play. The government changes. The ancient nation of Israel and the Temple system disappear. A country moves towards socialism or towards conservatism or towards anarchy. Humans regularly need to change their way of doing things and weaving their way through their comprehension of moral and physical laws and associated interactions is often a very complex task. And anyone's comprehension is inevitably limited.
Over the last few days I read a BBC article about three teenage girls who became involved with the Dutch resistance movement during WWII. They became involved with executing German soldiers and also Dutch traitors who were cooperating with the Germans in hunting down Jewish Dutch citizens. Two of the gals survived the war. One, a red head who was easy to identify, was shot by the Germans a few days before the end of the war. Were the gals heroes or ogres? A complex situation.
The problem that everyone is up against is managing their personal affairs and knowing the right and wrong thing to do in each decision making situation they confront - and the onslaught is constant and in stressful times it is like driving into a blizzard and being expected to know, moment by moment, where the curvy road is.
So here we are, living life, and trying to figure out how to look after ourselves and not create trouble for anyone else. Everyone has a concept of rules that for them define right and wrong and some theologies are likely more helpful than other theologies or philosophies. But the best set of rules can only go so far. At best, each person is equipped with an axe while they are sure to run into delicate situations where a scalpel is needed for exacting performance. And the scalpel may prove ineffective if the moral or technical doctor simply doesn't know what to cut or what to avoid cutting.
Recently my wife and I were trying to modify our wills. I have seen situations where wills have a complex collections of directives but anyone of significant age knows how circumstances change so quickly. A list of does and don'ts may seem accurate right now but in two years, when the will details are somewhat forgotten, the list may be highly faulted. In many cases, even the planner of the rules, if they lived longer, would come to realize that their instructions were foolish. My view is to try to have an executor who is as trustworthy as you can secure, turn the situation over to that person with detailed instructions at a minimum, but keep in touch with them so they know your general thinking, and if and when you exit, there is a thinking mind available to sort out the situation at that time. A living mind trumps a frozen list of does and don'ts. I want to stress that I am not knocking good basic rules or directives and a sincere attempt to help death related transitions to go smoothly - but the complexity of life requires the fine tuning of any good basic rule and usually that takes admirable "living" judgment.
Religions are somewhat similar. Some religious thinker can come up with a great plan that seems to work during his lifetime but when he is gone, the rules or "laws" or "principles" that he laid down may be twisted by new leaders who may or may not be wise and honest, and circumstances are sure to change. What may have seemed to be pretty good stuff at one time may become a whacky burden to those who bought into his system or to decedents of those folk. What is needed is a "Mind" that endures - a "Life connected religion" is the only answer. Someone with "Smarts" needs to always be on call and that requirement narrows down the field of activity that can be referred to as True Religion in a major way!
Here is another analogy that I feel is helpful. Say you work for a company that happens to be a sole proprietorship. The company and the Boss have been around forever and both are extremely successful in the long term. Everyone would like to be on staff because the Boss is going places and has an amazing track record and the company perks are impressive. So a new person applies for a job. When he meets the Boss, he spits on the floor and then is grossly rude to the Boss. You observe the Boss and perhaps He is polite with the applicant but you can guess whether the idiot will be hired or not. Another applicant is polite and seems capable. He IS hired. For a period of time he gets to do minor jobs but gradually moves up in responsibility. But he only respects the Boss to his face and other times badmouths the Boss and questions the Boss's leadership on company projects. Does the guy have a future with the company? Another starting worker has a handicap but has an admirable attitude, is delighted to be a company man, and clearly wants to stay on staff. Gradually he becomes an increasing fixture of the company and it becomes clear that he is committed and also that the Boss is responsive and is pulling for the fellow. A parallel situation can be seen in university colleges. Say in engineering, in first year it seems the profs are trying to get rid of students. In second year it is the same but less so. In third year, the profs are getting to know the remaining students and now they are trying to keep them in the college. The Boss knows that those outside the company have no loyalty to the company and the only reason that many want in is a logically selfish desire to ride with a winner (and to cash in on associated perks). So any new recruits are going to go through an initiation stage to see where their hearts are. Once a true commitment to the ideals of the company and a loyalty to the Boss is apparent, the worker has a vital ally on his side! It isn't boot licking - it is simply the way it has got to be if true success is to happen.
So, back to the Two Trees; The lesson that Rector feels is illustrated in the simple tree story is that each individual needs to recognize that to effectively fight the legal battle as a tiny human is hopeless. Adam and Eve, in the early stages of their exciting run, got the boot for blatantly disobeying the clear cut orders of the Boss and all of a sudden were outside the company and looking in. I think it is obvious that all was going to plan in the 6000 year scenario game, so this really wasn't a disaster. It was a planned process, not a trumpet call to humans to come to the assistance of a bungling God who needed their help to get the Life System back on track! But all of a sudden there was a temporary but very real barrier between the student rebels and the Boss and the relationship was on "cold", and would be so for an extended period of time. Lessons needed to be learned. The Tree of Life option of having a directing relationship with the Living Boss was, for the time being, withdrawn from the masses. But the Boss realized that the amazing capacity that humans had been given would allow them to do seeming wonders with the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, if they could get together cooperatively - but even then, the ultimate outcome would be death. I believe I just saw a news headline that the Doomsday Clock had ticked to 100 seconds to midnight! It is amazing that intelligence and cooperation could get everyone into such trouble. Knowing enough to be dangerous is such a fitting expression! Finding your way in the legal jungle is not simple especially if faulted motives are involved. So easy to get lost.
So, hey hey, I am getting back to basics - - how does this relate to the sexual divide and marriage? I think it is clear that the only way that a human can achieve eternal life is to master some way of being a vibrant, free personality while also remaining in harmony with other humans as well as with God. That is clearly not a simple matter of human intelligence. We as humans do not have the capability to do the job. To relate a Jim Rector joke/story (assuming he didn't plagiarize it!); a boy was trying to move a large stone and his father was watching him. As the boy struggled, his father said " Johnny, get all your resources into this and move that stone!" And the son said "Look, I am putting everything I've got into the effort!" And the father said, "Well, I am one of your resources and you haven't asked me to help."
The concept of faith and grace is not empty fluff nor is it giving "law" a kick in the teeth. We are here compliments of the Boss who happens to have the unique and unusual characteristic of being Eternal! There are obvious laws and rules that anyone can observe and if you want to get in the front door of the "Life Business", you learn not to spit on the ground when you meet the Boss. But no matter how many company policy rules you master, you don't have a hope of being able to navigate the subtle details of all the laws of eternal living without the guiding assistance of a Boss who is on your side. And that is the core of the Christian religion. You need that connection to the Tree of Life in order to survive in the legal jungle. You have to recognize that the challenge is so great that your only hope is to have a guide who knows the total story - who has been there and done that. He knows the map of eternity and he knows the dead end routes. Google Earth is amazing but still only on a simplistic human level!
So what about surviving in a long term relationship with just one other human? That, as evidenced by the spotty performance of couples driven together by sexual attraction, is not a challenge that is easy to master. Even marriage relationships that seem to endure, may be cases of bottled hell or anaesthetized "going with the flow". My guess is that really dynamic, honest and totally happy marriages are not overly common. Master/slave situations can seem stable over long periods. Many theologies seem to foster a seeming stability in many cases. But my read is that most marriages that seem to last have some prison or robot element incorporated and that the chances of seeing two horses racing together, each pushing its full potential and kicking up its heels, the pair outpacing other teams and other individual horses, yet both sticking close together, is akin to a miraculous murmuration phenomenon.
But if we cut in an understanding of the Two Trees and the current potential availability of the Spirit of the Boss as a guidance factor, a dramatic picture appears on the screen. And marriage plus the Two Tree concept opens up a wild analogy that boosts the two sex/marriage arrangement into an exciting formulation that holds an explosive collection of "why" answers!
First, another little Rector gem. I actually only read the Rector "Two Tree" articles after I had started my "sex divide" essay. And after I read the two productions I noticed another one of his archived productions, the article pictured in the side bar. Now knowing the slant of so many religious proponents and given the title, many people would grimace thinking about what might be contained in such a production!
But a summary of the "Silence" article is that Rector throws up an argument that men and women are different but equal and that the way women have been kicked around in the past is a bizarre crime. I doubt that he personally made a strong connection between the "Trees" and the "Silence" articles but, when it comes to the topic of the sexual divide, I think the connection is major.
Achieving the optimal connection between marriage partners, given the pressures of the overall society, which are usually not in line with the formula that the Boss expects in his "Life Company", requires effective utilization of spiritual guidance. And getting that "Force" in place and keeping it there is not simple. An effective marriage is definitely a team effort and it is combining two complex sub systems into a single system that has the potential to be a powerhouse so long as it doesn't morph into a bomb or fizzle into a blob on the floor. But what a potential loaded challenge! And this, against the backdrop of the larger picture of "everyone" somehow learning to "get along" without a dictatorship environment!
Rector deals with several Bible verses (there aren't many) that seem to beat women up and expresses his views on how these scriptures have been misused and are not clearly understood. He also tosses up the mountain of evidence that the Bible was written against a backdrop of amazing "anti-woman" attitude and that some of the problematic scriptures are connected to that fact. Plato felt that women had inferior status because "it is only males who are created directly by the gods and are given souls". Aristotle, a teacher of Alexander the Great, believed that women were defective by nature, that males had superior intelligence, and that women were infertile males. The Talmud states that it is a shame for a woman to let her voice be heard among men. Rabbinic teachings exist that state "Let the law be burned, rather than that they should be delivered to women". Even today, it is my understanding that the "blessing" of being a man and not a woman is an element in Jewish religion. Looking at society over the last hundred years certainly supports the view that women have been kicked around and that the feminist movement has lots of pent-up pressure to propel it.
I recently saw an on-line article on Isaac Singer. (It supports my view that life is complex and that no one has all the cards and no one is without any cards.) Singer was a rather frightful male chauvinist but he also had a dramatic impact on the lives of women with his development and popularization of the household sewing machine. An observer of the pre-sewing machine world where most wives and daughters were expected to sew, stated "This never ending task made their lives nothing but a dull round of everlasting toil." Supposedly, on seeing a sewing machine prototype, Singer said "You want to do away with the only thing that keeps women quiet?" Further, Singer's relationships with women was dramatic with multiple marriages, some overlapping, affairs, and divorces and eventual forced escape from the USA to Europe due to legal actions against him for his womanizing improprieties. His biographer, Ruth Brandon, stated that he was "the kind of man who adds a certain backbone of solidity to the feminist movement".
So, just another illustration of the herd mentality that has developed over time with regard to the sexual divide.
In recent times, though, the feminist backlash has helped in some ways but in other major ways has widened the gap in the sexual divide. When two people bash their heads together, the damage is usually fairly evenly distributed. The guys get the upper hand in certain ways but the gals are no fools and just as "weaker" military forces opt for asymmetrical warfare tactics, the gals know a thing or two about exerting themselves! Abuse of females is the current media buzz but support services are also available for men who are being abused! Like the "no one has all the cards" line, similarly, humans are humans and strengths and faults are normally evenly distributed!
Success doesn't reside in screaming about past or even current injustice. If people have time to dedicate themselves to "protest", likely they are part of the problem rather than being actively involved in working on a practical solution. There is a path to success and appreciating the big picture is the first step. Putting the parts of a powerful machine together and then using the machine to build up "relational capital" is the success formula in the Game. If the "parts" are seen as being equal but different, and jointly vital to the function of the machine, the mindset of both "machine partners" is going to be radically different than if either sees the other as being "inferior", or "superior". And this "equality with differences" point is a vital aspect in the quest for sustainable life, and may well be the core lesson in the two sex/marriage system.
Rector's hammering on "equality" is extremely valuable as religion is a frightful club that men and women are both impacted by, in some cases and to some degree for the better, but so often there is a twisted effect that is incredibly damaging. I am repeating myself, as these points are covered to some extent on Page 28, but religion, to a troubling degree is humanly generated and clashes with common sense as well as with LIFE. Rector's MP3 classic (Religion or Life?) stresses that people should give careful thought as to how their religious views clash with simple LIVING and often these views prevent a connection between the Living God and human individuals, each one of whom is ultimately dependent on this vital link. If religion erodes a person's view that all men and women are equal, as well as being different, there is a problem. Age, current capability, experience, sex, moral status and performance - all are unrelated to the over riding equality issue. These details of each individual are not without long term importance, but equality is locked together with respect, and as we are all students in the Big School, and in many different streams, getting a superiority mindset is a formula for stifled growth and general problems.
The angle that murmurations seem to allow information exchange between individual birds is repeated in the earlier Dylan Winter murmuration video. Bees seem to have info exchange as well. And humans use the same principle, enhanced by the cell phone and internet.
Here is a simple yet mind bending question; If two free individuals are equal, but significantly different, how do they establish an effective form of cooperation with leadership that gives the team direction yet prevents oppression or misguided clashes? How do you manage team leadership while being mutually supportive and not stifling? On earlier pages I talk about being a Maestro of Life. A Maestro takes many things into account while making decisions and taking actions. Years of effective education and practice are involved. Often mentors and master teachers are involved in the development of a Maestro. I would contend that a couple committed to marriage are taking on the challenge of training to be joint Maestros of Life. No high level skill comes without dedication and work. How well do four year olds get along? Likely twelve year olds do better. Learning happens! I would argue that the upper level is wide open. But knowledge and experience and skill cannot be matched by immaturity and ignorance.
When we are dealing with a marriage team, a major issue is the appreciation of design. Men and women are designed with intentional differences. The sexual divide is a purpose driven design reality. The evidence is in the written and the creational manuscripts of God, a God whose reality is a no-brainer to those using their own brain. The system is designed to work - we are not dealing with a Monday morning lemon production. So, let's get that rather vital detail looked after! Then, the Circle of Love cuts into effect. The more positive cyclical cycles that occur and the higher the quality of the cycles, the more relational capital is built up and the more powerful the team becomes. Effective basic habits, familiarity, and trust are developed. And for the system to really perform, both units need to connect to the Ultimate Maestro of Life who is the only factor who can prevent turns onto dead end streets and who keeps both players on the interstate - AND, on the same interstate!
So a sexual connection is a huge element in marriage and it means the difference between a boss and a husband or a housekeeper or a secretary and a wife. A BBC article is linked that deals with the chemistry of sexual attraction and it deals in part with the fact that the initial attraction impact tends to wear off over time. And this is likely why so many "marriages" last such a short time. It is rare that individuals ever go solo for any length of time. Relationships break up constantly but pairing, be it heterosexual or homosexual, seems to be very predictable. If the motivation to "get together" is primarily sex related, the novel sex effect between any couple will fade and other factors linked to character and personality will either hold thing together or drive the couple apart. A read of the Bible makes it clear that a one time marriage is the goal but the physical world does not illustrate much performance on this ideal and the Bible doesn't make any positive prediction that this dismal performance would not be the case.
But just like the nation of Japan has successfully internalized lack of garbage clutter, despite the difficulty that other societies seem to have at achieving this admirable and totally logical goal, surely high quality, long term marriages should be possible. The Designer indicates the complex machine will work if instructions are followed! Lots of laws are involved and the simply stated ones need fine tuning to really work - the legal world is a jungle - if Rector's take is accurate, there is some wisdom in avoiding the approach of the party that is associated with the Adam and Eve dropout event. And at least, be smart enough to not spit on the floor even when confronted with simple written instructions from the Boss!
Consider for a moment the possible implications of short serial "marriages" vs a single, long term relationship. Children have short attention spans. This is likely another design feature to assure that children have a broad knowledge base prior to specializing as an adult and focusing on getting specific jobs done. But what level of success can be linked to an individual who job hops. A degree of specialization and focus is vital for the type of progress that is associated with being a mature adult. A brilliant mind digs deeper into an area of specialization and there is never an end to the progress that can be made. Only a dullard gets bored and stagnates.
Drug addicts go from one fix to the next - not really mature living and progress. Similarly, sex addicts jump from one relationship to the next. The problem is that they are playing with a system that has huge educational potential and out of shallow ignorance, they are treating it like a cheap trinket. They blind themselves to its vital potential. Job hopper are in a very similar mode. Life is complex and you cannot make progress by constantly skimming the surface. Personal development is what yields success and biting into life is the process that delivers personal development. Digging in always yields problems and challenges. Progress comes with facing and conquering those problems. Quitting yields nothing but a developing habit. The saying "there is never enough time to do a job well but there is always time to do it twice" is connected to this issue. What about "three times, or four times"! There is a childish pleasure in quitting and starting afresh. Unfortunately childish pleasures do not yield long term results and concrete success. And given a time limit on the current Life Package, old people who persist in acting like small children find that the scenario starts to run them into very unpleasant territory.